Groundhog Day, 2011
Feb 2nd, 2011 by hjschmidt
An A.D.D. tour of Art, Climbing, Skiing and other random activities.
Feb 2nd, 2011 by hjschmidt
Feb 2nd, 2010 by hjschmidt
Captain Nemo’s friends and relations will not be surprised that Captain Nemo saw his shadow today and scampered right back into his hole to brace for six more weeks of winter. As a side note, I skied a foot of new powder today. Captain Nemo’s prognostication suggests there is more of that to come!
Once again a job well done by Captain Nemo.
Apr 28th, 2009 by hjschmidt
STARRING IN ORDER OF APPEARANCE:
Our story begins with the eruption of Mount Redoubt in Alaska. This was not only an ominous omen, (since climbers don’t really like mountains disappearing), but it delayed Pamela’s departure from Alaska by about a week. The effect this has on your average offwidth ninja is something akin to putting scotch tape on the pads of a cat. (Taught to me by a vet of all people. Try it, the results are entertaining.) Anyway, we make it to Joshua Tree and meet up with Jay Anderson (who Pamela has wanted to meet as he’s the first ascensionist of Lucille, a 5.13 offwidth thats been downrated to .12d and is in reality probably just a series of 5.8+ moves, but I digress…) So we meet up with Jay Anderson and a group of ageing offwidthers, the self proclaimed widefetish gang. This proves to be an entertaining first evening at the FISH compound due to copious ammounts of alcohol and some gasoline and rags since there was no LSD available.
The next morning, Pamela and I head out to find The Inquisition, which the widefetish crew has assured us is a heinous boulder problem. Now, you might think that The Inquisition would be located at Inquisition Rock. If this is so, you would be sadly mistaken. Pamela and I spent 40 days and 40 nights wandering in the desert and saw no sign of The Inquisition. Later in the day, we found out that it was located below The Rusty Wall. Once we had that information Pamela managed to make quick work of this boulder problem. (If you’re really into wasting time, watch what I believe is the all-time funniest climbing video ever of Russ and Will working on this problem at http://www.fishproducts.com/movies/inqusition_small.mov but you’ll need bandwidth for it.)
A side by side comparison of offwidth ninja technique vs. white trash technique
Differences between a true aficionado and your average weekend warrior are well illustrated by these images. Notice the subtle differences in body position: Pamela has wedged her entire body into the crack and is moving on an arm-bar, HJ is half in-half out of the crack and is pretending his right palm might actually help him. Notice the differences in clothing choices: Pamela is sporting black and blue, which will match her body color after she has finished the climb, HJ is wearing shades of green which will match the color of his face when he falls out of this thing.
The week pretty much went on in the following vein. We’d spend evenings at The FISH compound working our core muscles by laughing hysterically at Russ Wallings stories of YOSAR folks on LSD. I would con Pamela into doing some 5.10 classic that turned out to be heinously sandbagged, then we’d wander the desert looking for obscure offwidth boulder problems.
I took some nice scenic shots, some color, some with my panaramic camera (all film).
On our second to the last day of our trip, we went out to The Inquisition with the widefetish gang and played around some more. Pamela showed everyone else how to crank offwidths, and the rest of us fell alot. We also worked on another boulder problem and did Wanger Banger and O’Kellys Crack on The Rusty Wall.
On our last day Pamela was still mad for more punishment so we went back out to Throbbing Gristol, this time managing to find it. It was a probably a good place to be as it was in a shady, cool coridor and it was an absurdly hot day.
UNBELIEVABLY this was a very succesful trip despite ridiculous odds. I learned how to climb upside down. Pamela learned the subtleties of walking five miles to climb twenty feet. We met the Widefetish Crew and achieved double workouts by climbing all day and laughing all night. We arrived home battered and bruised. What more could you want from a spring vacation?
Apr 25th, 2009 by hjschmidt

Jan 4th, 2009 by hjschmidt

Somehow Mike Finkel talked me into this. I believe the line that suckered me in was “how often do you get to do something you’ve never done before?” I mean, it’s tough to argue with logic like that. So on New Years Day, along with a large group of individuals of questionable rationality I participated in a Polar Bear Club Swim.
Statistics:
Air Temperature: 32 degrees Fahrenhite
Water Temperature: 32 degrees Fahrenhite
Methodology of creating pool: Chainsaw through the ice
Thickness of ice: 7 inches
Longest Swim: Mike Finkel with 5 laps
Greatest Number of Entries into the water: HJ with two

HJ Diving In
It takes a certain lack of thinking to dive into freezeing cold water. I’d tell you what it felt like, but I don’t remember, even after having done it twice. I guess it’s just one of those in the moment things.

Mike Finkel "Resting" While Swimming Laps
Mike made quite a show of his swim. He would swim a length, climb partially out of the water, and then drop back in very slowly to swim another length. As mentioned above he managed to do this five times.

HJ Swimming Laps
So, just because I didn’t get all that cold the first time, or, just because I’m ridiculously competitive, I had another go at this to see if I could swim five laps. I chose to emply a non-dallying technique figuring that my only real chance was to swim as fast as I could and keep my muscles moving. On my third lap, my muscles stopped listening to my brain, and I decided it might be best to end this particular experiment.

HJ Drying Off
As you can see, I survived the ordeal, along with everyone else. You can see that my one remaing brain cell is continueing to function normally by the smile on my face in reaction to the pretty girl.
Nov 6th, 2008 by parker
HJ and I did some fun climbing in the Cathedral Spires back in August, including the easy classic, Spire Four. The route is straightforward, and the approach is quicker up the back side. The climber’s trail splits off of the Cathedral Spires trail from Needles Highway, and goes up around the southeast side of the spires. Finding the proper gully is usually the most difficult part. We scramble up to the start, and hear voices of other climbers. “Probably George and friends,” sez H. We knew they were doing one of the Conn circuits — East Gruesome, Spire Four, something like that. We rope up, and HJ leads up the first gully. It’s a dark, wide, easy pitch, about 100′ up under a roof that looks impassible. Except for an infamous hole known as the Wormhole. There is an alternate route, around to the left and over the lip. Keep in mind that HJ has injured himself by overextending his arm training in the gym, and can’t pull at all with the left appendage. That leaves him at a disadvantage, and he really has no choice but to lead on up through the wormhole. Which he does with aplomb. “Off belay” he sends down cheerily.
I start up the gully, climbing easily. After all, it’s barely 5.0, and even I can climb this, even at 215 pounds and a 38″ waist. I scrabble up to the wormhole, and peer through it dubiously. How the hell do you squeeze through that? I ask myself. The alternative is a lefthand jump across to a fin with good holds, but it is a bit of a jump. The wormhole is definitely easier, if you’re a skinny little dwarf. It’s obvious that HJ would have had to pull himself up and around with the useless left arm on the alt route, so his choice makes perfect sense. For him.
For me, however, this is a struggle. I stand on the flat platform below the wormhole and push my pack up to HJ. Then my arms go and I manage to wiggle my shoulders through, too. For a minute it looks like I might fit. Then I realize that I have three ‘biners, a cleaning tool and a chalk bag strung out on my harness loops. I shove mightily, but I can’t get my encumbered hips through the hole. The voices we heard earlier have become attached to faces now — George Hurley and his friends Bob, Lisa & another friend, are waiting for us to clear the rap station. Lisa takes pictures of me. How embarassing. I try to look noble. George is laughing. HJ is laughing. I am desperately hoping my bony ass is not stuck permanently in this hole. I imagine how cold it must get at night in late August in the Cathedral Spires. Not too cold, but lonely. I wiggle around some more. No go.
I consider removing the impediments. The thought of being permanently stuck in the wormhole does not make me feel better about this alternative, however, so I opt for the clever retreat. HJ rigs another loop in the rope, and tosses it around the side. I climb back down to a firm stance and retie into the rope and scramble up around the other side. Cheers greet me. Better than catcalls, I guess. I actually prefer the challenge of going around — it’s a few holds of maybe 5.7, and for three or four minutes I was actually climbing.We take some photos, and then HJ and I went on to the top, while George and friends rapped off.The rest of the climb is easy and loads of fun. We whomp up one of the two main towers on Spire Four, and at the top of the second pitch, there is a little gap to jump over at the rap bolts. HJ offers to let me lead, but I’ve already lost enough skin to the wormhole. He hops over and up and I follow. The weather is perfect and so is the view. We pause, we sign the register (fairly new PVC tube) and rap back off in time for dinner. Good times.
A small addition: here’s a pic of James on top of Spire IV
George Hurley and friends at the Spire IV belay, right above the wormhole. Clockwise from the lower left are Lisa, George, Bob and Peggy.
The view from the top of Spire IV, with Spire III and Spire II on the left and in the middle.
Nov 5th, 2008 by hjschmidt
Sep 24th, 2008 by hjschmidt

Hey guys, do we really want to go through this again? Notice that Greg is smiling.
Jul 16th, 2008 by hjschmidt
 
This is how I remember Montana as a kid. Mike standing next to a plowed snowcut near the top of the Beartooth Pass. To read more about our ski trip and see ski photos Continue Reading »
Jun 30th, 2008 by hjschmidt